Changing Fate
by wickedmusicallover095
Summary: Prue is drowning in her grief when Estelle is offered a second chance. She can return home but she has to make a choice; one that would change her life forever. She must choose to say goodbye to her birth parents, her friends and the people she's known for her entire life to save her mother, to save her family that was still living.
1. 72 Hours After

**72 Hours After~ Prue**

"Prue, honey you need to eat," Piper said the evening before Estelle's funeral. Prue sat in a pair of sweats and a hoodie. Her face was pale and tear streaked, her hair was in knots as she stared into a space of nothingness. She placed a cup of tea and a bowl of oatmeal in front of her on the counter but it eventually went cold. It hadn't mattered that Piper had made her breakfast food and it had passed midnight, Prue had hardly eaten in at all since Estelle had died. She had only slept and cried and flipped through the Book of Shadows. She had also spent a lot of time yelling; at Leo, her sisters, the Elders, and for Estelle to return.

"How can they have just let her died? She wasn't supposed to die!" she had yelled to no one in particular hours after she had died.

"Bring her back! Bring her back right now!" she yelled at the Elders twenty minutes after.

"Estelle, please, come back," she cried as she tore herself away from Phoebe. She clutched her lifeless daughter's body.

"Leo, I don't care, you should have brought her back!" she had said when he explained that he couldn't have brought her back if he tried. The Elders would have blocked his powers, possibility orbed him 'up there'.

"Don't talk to me, don't bother me, leave me alone," she fumed at her sisters as she went to the attic. Her voice had eventually gone sore trying various spells, yelling to let her return, and yelling at her mom and grams to get down here. They never came of course, not once, they left no message. They let her grieve with the living. Every attempt by her younger sisters to help though was futile. Hey tried but had not succeeded. When Prue was passing Phoebe's room she heard them talking. They mentioned how they had to be strong for Prue otherwise everything would fall apart even though they missed their niece.

This made Prue feel even guiltier about her daughter's death. Her sister's could grieve if it wasn't for her- then again if it wasn't for her they wouldn't have to grieve. If she hadn't been a witch. If she hadn't gotten so attached to Estelle. If they had sent her on her way that morning or months before. If she had kept a closer eye on Estelle. If she had known the language of the Fae. If she had done one thing different this could have been avoided. Estelle would still be there if it wasn't for her.

Prue pushed the bowl away and the tea as well which ended up spilling all over the counter. She mumbled an apology saying she'd clean it up only to burst into tears saying Estelle could have evaporated it. Estelle would have freaked out too at spilling the tea considering it a waste of water. She'd refuse any liquid for the rest of the day only to have had one of the sisters to talk her into a cup of tea hours later.

Piper brushed her sister aside telling her to go lie down as she reached a towel to wipe the tea up. Prue shuffled up the stairs stopping by her daughter's room. The door was ajar, everything was as it had been less than a week ago. Prue held back a cry as she saw her jacket tossed carelessly on the bed with her rucksack. Though the jacket had been her's it was one of- if not the first thing she gave Estelle when she arrived not that long ago. For a moment Prue wondered who had so thoughtlessly thrown her daughter's possessions in the room but remembered that it most likely could have been Estelle. She tried to remember her daughter doing such a thing but her last memories of the girl were jumbled. After what seemed like an eternity of sitting on the bed holding the worn jacket she fell asleep.

Piper and Phoebe saw Prue in Estelle's room, and Phoebe started to cry. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she mourned for her niece. Piper held her younger sister and realized not for the first time that she was holding the family together as Prue couldn't. She whispered to her sister that it was alright as she gently guided her away from Prue, for fear of waking her.

"I should have let him reset time, before Leo got back," Phoebe cried, "She wouldn't be dead. She'd be in Camelot, but she'd be alive." Piper had not told anyone but Leo that she felt personally responsible for Estelle's death. She could not say anything to Phoebe, let alone Prue. For if it hadn't been for her, if she hadn't of died, Estelle wouldn't have needed to use that dust.

"We'll get through this," Piper said not truly believing her words. Her and Phoebe would but she didn't know if what she said was true for Prue.

Morning came and they all got ready for Estelle's funeral. Prue showered, dressed, put on make-up, and ate but she still looked dreadful. Victor showed up and hugged his oldest daughter who didn't really hug him back or show any emotion except sadness. She sat next to her sister's at the funeral but the noise was just buzzing. She, nor any of the Halliwell's had planned the funeral. Estelle's friends from Camelot had. She had what they called a traditional funeral for Fae. Her Watcher friends showed up and they all looked to Prue but she didn't notice. Zoey passed Phoebe a letter that was meant for Prue. The letter remained one of many that remained untouched until weeks later. No demons attacked, not to Prue's knowledge anyway. If they had attacked it was taken care of my Phoebe and Piper and Cole. Prue had not seen Cole until the day of the funeral. It was then she had spoken the most she had in the past three days.

"You! You should not be here! You never cared for Estelle. You tried to kill her! Probably more than once! How can you show up to a funeral of someone you tried to murder!"

"Prue," Phoebe said but Prue kept yelling.

"No Phoebe! He's a demon! He has killed so many innocent people!"

"Estelle wasn't one of them!" Phoebe yelled, "A demon didn't kill Estelle, Prue!" This shut her sister up, as well as everyone else in the church. Prue glared at her only to blink away tears as she turned running out of the church.

 _A/N: Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! The next chapter will have Estelle in it and will be in the same timeline as this episode, it'll be uploaded on January 1st whereas Estelle's War chapter 2 will be uploaded January 8th. There will eventually be a time jump later on. Again, thanks for reading, please review! Chapters after January 1st will be uploaded every other week._


	2. Adjustment

**Chapter 2**

"I wish I could say I'm surprised to see you again," the Angel of Death said.

"I knew I'd see you again, or one of your kind eventually," I said looking at my now soulless body.

"You chose your fate this time, are you ready?" I was surprised he would ask such a question. He held out his hand, was he this way with all the others?

"You are the last of your kind and you signed your own fate," he said seeing my confused look.

"I'm not ready to give this up but to save them... to save everyone I must. If I could just have a moment please?" He stepped back as I walked to my mom. She was crying, screaming at the Elders. Screaming at me. She clutched and shook my body. I let my hand hover over her shoulder. I let myself feel the warmth of her skin even though my hand ended up going through her body.

"Goodbye mother," I said returning to the Angel's side.

* * *

That was months ago, or so it seemed. Grams disappeared for a short time along with Grandmother. It was to comfort my mom I presumed. I spent a long time talking with the council elders and my friends and my sister from Camelot. I spent a lot of time asking questions. Like where my magic went, my sword, if what happened in Camelot was permanent now, and why I was in my Fae form.

All the faeries were as they should be. I still had my magic, I was the last remaining fire fae and was the last to die. A demon hadn't killed me so I kept my magic, my life force had just gone to Piper. Camelot was now a fixed point in time and could- should never be changed. They didn't know what had happened to my sword. It wasn't with me now even though I was in my faery form. It most likely was a question that would never be answered properly.

I also met my sister's family. I felt at home, I was with my people. Many days felt like it was back in Camelot, how it was supposed to be with no demons. I raced with Margaret again, trying to beat imaginary rain. There was no need to be sad or upset ever again. Days were spent with my friends and my nephew and brother in law. I had missed this, missed my life before.

Gwen introduced me to our birth parents- hers anyway. I had a different mom. My birth father took me aside and explained it away from Gwen. He had fallen in love around the time of the announcement that he was to marry Gwen's mom. The relationship had been forbidden like mine and Aero's had.

"I'm not half demon am I? Is that why I'm so powerful?" I had asked fear washing over me.

"No," he said chuckling, "You are however the first of your kind. This is just one... contributing factor to your strength."

"Oh, so who did you have a child with then?"

"My wife, Adelaide. We got married right when my engagement was announced. Then she got pregnant and the council elders- they were furious. There was a divorce, that's what it is called now. It caused a lot of trouble actually, divorce wasn't viewed kindly by the church or by Fae. You were protected, being a child of Fae. My seat on the council was revoked, and if I had had you with Gwen's mother I would have been able to keep you. She was hidden from me after our split so I was forced to stay with Gwen's mother. You were still to be engaged to William, that was set in stone when he was born. Anyway, not only did we have a forbidden relationship but we wanted to keep you. Your mother fought, she wanted you to stay with her, with us. She cried, she cried a lot when you were taken from her. That was the last I saw her for years." There had been several moments of awkward silences. I hadn't known what to say. I still didn't know who my mother was, what she was.

"She's human, Estelle. Your mother was human. She died... when you would have been fourteen." So essentially three years ago as I died at seventeen. I was dead. I had died, no one here seemed to realize that because they were all dead.

"Would you like to meet her?" he broke my thoughts of death and being dead.

"Uhh," I wasn't sure. I had a mom, whom was living, whom I loved.

"Sure," I finally said not sure at all.

"Hi," a woman said entering. She was in her mid thirties, blonde, and had green eyes. She wore a traditional peasant dress. We looked exactly alike but she had a sad smile.

"You're gorgeous," she said, "You are- were so young. I don't- why now?"

"My aunt, she was dying," I said, "Siblings they get this- uh dust where you can sacrifice your self so they can live. I used it to save my aunt, if I hadn't a lot of people would have died. The Source would have conquered the humans."

"The Charmed Ones," she said and I nodded.

"Which one was your mother?" she asked this question calmly like it didn't bother her that I had a different mom. That I loved someone besides her, that I spent essentially two years with Prue and none at all with her. She had cried when I was taken away by the council elders, one of whom had been by father. I saw my mother cry countless times throughout the course of the two years over me, over the fear that I was going to die and when I did die.

"Prue," I said, "She adopted me not long after I turned sixteen." She wanted to know more about my life in San Fransisco and with my adoptive family. She wanted to spend time with me but I told her I needed some time, that I wasn't ready to 'enjoy my death'. She said she understood and would wait.

I didn't spend a lot of time with my birth parents or with my friends for a while. I spent time with my grandmother and Grams.

"A lot of people go through this transition," Grams said.

"Did you go see her? My mom?"

"We did, Prue is grieving. It's slow going for her," she said.

"Is it because I chose my death and it wasn't caused by a demon?"

"She still would have grieved," my grandmother said, "But let's not talk about your mom."

"But I left her, left them. I'm never going to see her again. I can't go back, not like you can. I'm dead, I know it was my choice and I would do it again but..."

"It's hard not seeing your mom everyday." I nodded.

"And the thing is if I had gone back to Camelot-"

"It's still different," Grams said, "Yes you would have died and not seen her everyday but it is different. It's not the same, understand? Don't try to convince yourself otherwise." I didn't see her point, I didn't see how it was different.

"You would have lived a life, long and healthy," my grandmother said, "You were planning to return to Camelot, you weren't planning to die before then. It would be different for your mother too. It is different, the choice you made."

"It hurt dying, I know it would be easier for my mom if she thinks it was painless but it hurt. Every cell in my body was screaming in agony. I could feel my mom's fear and sadness as well. Then the pain was gone, just like that. But I still hurt, I don't understand why I still hurt."

"You miss your life," Grams said, "It's a different kind of hurt. I think living with humans widened your emotional-"

"I'm half human, my birth mother was- is- I don't know, she's human. I'm forbidden- just like Paige." They looked at me with surprise, not only had I opened up about myself but I had revealed a secret I had kept for months. But the secret didn't matter for much longer because I was soon offered a choice that I wasn't sure I was going to take.

 _A/N: Apologies to uploading the chapter so late, I went on a family vacation and didn't have my computer with me. Anyway, the choice she will be offered will be revealed in either the next chapter or the fourth chapter. For now the chapters will alternate between the living and the dead. I hope you all enjoyed it, please review! Thanks for reading. Charmed Always- K_


	3. One Month

**One Month**

One month had passed since Estelle's death. During that time only one demon had been killed by the Charmed Ones. Prue had lost a significant amount of weight though she was eating again. Her powers were out of sync. She had no control over them anymore. She spent most of her time in Estelle's room crying or yelling or sleeping. Whenever she exerted any amount of energy like accidentally using her magic or helping kill that one demon she became fatigued. She didn't spend a lot of time talking to her sisters or Leo. They tried, desperately so. Eventually Grams got involved coming down from the Heavens with Patty.

"Prue," Grams said.

"Grams," Prue said looking around, "Where is she? Where is my daughter?" Her voice, which could have easily sounded threatening sounded weak and pitiful. She couldn't have sounded less like herself.

"She hasn't quite processed that she's dead Prue," Grams said being honest, "She can't come back to see you Prue. There are laws that she has to follow as well. She's hasn't realized that yet. She's just been reunited with her people hat she hasn't seen in two years. But when that hits her, we have to be there to help. Her people won't understand- they died all at once hundred of years ago."

"I want her to come home. Please," Prue begged trying to take in what Grams had told her. But they couldn't explain that she was gone, that she could never contact them, not through the spirit board or the Book of Shadows. Prue went on to say that she and her mom could come down. Once again Grams tried to explain the laws of the Fae. Then Patty stepped in.

"Prue, honey it's not that simple. Even if she was human she wouldn't be able to come down. Not until you're done grieving."

"I will never be done grieving, I will never accept that my daughter is gone forever. I will never forget her- I will never leave her." Patty stepped back knowing this anger was directed towards her.

"I didn't want to leave you." Prue scowled at her mother, directing her grief, her anger at her because maybe if her mother hadn't of died then maybe she wouldn't feel this bad that her daughter was gone.

"He told you it wasn't safe, he told you and you went anyway. You knew you could die and you went anyway. Are there instances where I have put myself in danger, yeah. But my sisters were there to help me."

"They are here to help you now," Piper said as she and Phoebe entered the attic. They spent time trying to convince the eldest Charmed One that they wanted to help her, that she could move on. But Prue wouldn't have any of it. She was angry, pissed, and wanted to get away.

"You can't help me," Prue said, "No one can." Prue left the attic and eventually left the Manor. Everywhere she went she could see her daughter, hear her, feel her presence.

 _"Where did you learn to sew? I know all your dresses were sewn by hand," Prue asked one evening months before Estelle's death._

 _"We're taught simple sewing at a young age. Many of the clothing in the village was made by our seamstresses. We had three, there was a girl I knew who was to become one."_

 _"How was that chosen? How were jobs chosen?"_

 _"It just depended what you were good at. Some Fae were to become guardians, to help keep us safe at night, some hunters, midwives, doctors, teachers, many care for children and few were to become Elders."_

 _"What were you to become?"_

 _"Before I was to be a wife, a mother, to my children and to the village, someone to speak to the village in times of trouble or in times of happiness." This reminded Prue in a way of the first wives of the US or even Queen Elizabeth I. She was married to God and her kingdom._

 _"Would you have been expected to fight, to help guard?"_

 _"Expected? No, but I would fight, I'd help keep my people safe. Women's opportunities were not as much in Camelot as they are here, they weren't spoken out loud. But it was accepted that we were equally responsible for keeping our home safe. That if the men were to fail, we were to step up."_

 _"You would have been able to keep your children, because of you marrying an Elder?" Prue had changed the subject to see her daughter's reaction._

 _"Yes, I would have. If I were in Camelot right now, I would most likely have a child right now. If not one would be on the way." They way she spoke was matter of fact though it shocked Prue and she wanted to ask more. The topic was dropped though as Estelle spotted someone playing music farther down the sidewalk._

She knew that Estelle wasn't really there though because she was gone and what her Grams said was true, she couldn't come back. She walked for what was most likely hours. She saw mothers with their daughters out shopping, out enjoying life. She made her way to a bar and sat down facing the bartender.

"What can I get you?" he asked. She pulled out her wallet from her purse that she had grabbed right before leaving. She threw a handful of cash onto the counter.

"Whatever," she said not caring. He poured her a drink that was as dark as she felt. She downed it and felt sick but she downed several more to numb the anger she felt toward her mom, Grams, her sisters, and herself. She had let her daughter sacrifice herself. There was so much she didn't know about her daughter- that she'd never know. As she walked home, night having fallen she was confronted with a demon. They all knew that the Charmed Ones were weakened, that Prue normally the leader, was now the weakest link. Prue didn't know how many demons had attacked since Estelle's death. She didn't bother to ask her sisters because she didn't care.

Though she killed the demon, she couldn't blame them like she wanted for Estelle's death not like she wanted. She couldn't blame Cole, the Source, or her sisters though it had crossed her mind. She couldn't dare blame her daughter though she had sacrificed herself. She blamed the Elders but not as much as she blamed herself. So, when the demon was vanquished by her hand she knew what she had to do. She knew what she had to do to try to fix the death of her daughter.

 _A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading! Please review. Charmed Always- K_


	4. Ended with Us

**Ended with Us**

I had revealed the secret I kept for months. Grams and grandmother explained why they kept her a secret and why it had to stay that way. They wanted Paige to stay alive, they didn't want the Elders to find out about her. They were scared if they did she'd end up dead or worse. I didn't need to ask what worse was, worse was a recurring nightmare I had had often- when I was alive. They wanted to drop the topic of Paige. They didn't want her sisters finding out, or Leo, or the Elders, they wanted Paige kept in the dark. In the shadows that all humans stayed in, unknowing of demons or magic, to stay safe.

Then they asked me not to speak of it ever again and I told them I wouldn't. There wasn't anyone here I could tell that would care. I couldn't go see my mom or my aunts to tell them. I couldn't even contact them through the spirit board. I wanted to but there were laws I had to follow. Plus I couldn't see them even if I decided to break those laws because I was told quite bluntly that like my family I had to move on. They had to move on from my death, I had to move on from life.

I couldn't even watch my mom, I didn't know how she was handling everything. I didn't know how much time had passed since by death. It could be days or weeks or months even. I asked but I was never given a proper answer. I wasn't really even answered, Grams would change the subject to a lighter subject. Then she answered one day but not how I would have expected.

"Time for you has passed differently. Here there isn't a concept of time, not like with the living. You are dead Estelle, you shouldn't focus on how long. You shouldn't even focus on the living right now, you know why? Because you aren't one of them anymore." This, I knew from reading was what was considered 'tough love' I think. Prue sometimes used it but rarely.

I don't know how much time passed before I spoke to my two grandmothers. I spent time, or whatever it was, with my birth mother. I learned about her life and gave her little bits about my life in Camelot. She knew I wasn't ready to talk about my life in San Francisco and she didn't push. I grew to like her and I felt bad thinking I should love her like I loved Prue. She didn't care for me like Prue did but she wanted to, she really wanted to be my mom. After time of spending with my birth mother I spent time alone. Gwen wanted to talk as did Margaret but I didn't wanted to talk to anyone.

I was dead and everyone here was too but they seemed to still be living. But all they knew in life were each other, they were all dead together. I still had a family, one I loved, one that I had made a new life with. One I had sacrificed myself for. The family surrounding me they didn't understand. They didn't have parents or aunts or uncles, they had each other. They missed out on so much because of our old rules, our old traditions. I got what I had missed and then gave it up. I saved Piper but in doing so let go of my life.

I left my mom, my family but that was what I was going to do anyway. Right? I was going to return to Camelot, take my place on the council, and become a wife. But I had moments of doubt, I was going to stay in San Francisco for a short while until that plan changed. I was torn between wanting to stay and wanting to go. I had planned on leaving from the very start then I became a member of the Halliwell family. I had Gwen though. I had a lot of fae to save. Who was I to give that up? Yet I had done so to save countless lives from the Source.

I was dead and there was nothing changing that, ever. I couldn't go speak to my mom, no contact what so ever. Because of this I would never watch her, I didn't want to see their lives moving on. I wanted them to move on, to save innocents, but I had to move on too. I had to accept what I had done. It had seemed like a big reunion at first, a party almost now it felt like a mess. I sat lost in my thoughts as Margaret sat beside me.

"I was really happy when I learned you had lived but I was angry too," she said, "You got to have a life which, one that was taken from me long ago."

"I'm not angry," I said, "Not at any of them, this was my choice."

"It wasn't your choice to be shoved through a time portal though."

"Everything after was."

"You could have said no though and just died right after arriving. You could have gone to Camelot that morning and changed our fates. You could have made so many different choices. This choice was made in a matter of minutes. You didn't have time to think it through, now you have that time. We all do, after death."

"I wouldn't change my choice. I died protecting my family and so many people. No, it wasn't you but so many innocents would have died otherwise. So many more than the Fae."

"So you choose death?"

"Yeah, I choose death. What's the point of this conversation?"

"You ended up with us in the end you know. Either way, you ended up with us," she said not answering my question.

"Yeah, I did."

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please leave your thoughts in a review. What do you think the point of that conversation was? Charmed Always- K_


	5. Furies

**Furies**

Prue wanted to trade her life for her daughters. She spent days, weeks trying to find a spell or a potion that would do just that. Soon two months had passed since Estelle died. Prue was busy searching, constantly searching but it didn't show results. She started to go after demons to try to find an answer. Her sisters and Leo didn't know what she was looking for. They knew she was killing demons in an effort to find something. They thought she was seeking revenge. Yet Shax was dead and the woman who shot Piper was in jail.

She was angry most of the time, she lashed out at her sisters. Leo told them he feared the Furies. He explained to the sisters what they did. After Prue had started going after demon after demon he had done his own research. He learned that if she inhaled the smoke from one by one that she would become a Fury. The sisters tried to go with Prue when she went after demons but she wouldn't let them. She said she had to do this on her own.

After a while the sisters found out that Prue wasn't hunting demons 24/7. She got a job, she had left her job at the magazine mere days after Estelle's death. She no longer found joy in photographing people as most of the time they were smiling, they were happy for one reason or another and she was not. And it was her job as a photographer that nearly got herself and Estelle killed on that bridge- though that was also a demon. She worked museum an hour away. It was small but she worked six days a week and spent her remaining free time hunting demons. Leo's fear came true as another month went by.

She had been alone but her sisters ended up fighting along side her, though it was after she had inhaled the smoke from one of the furies. She once again lashed out at her sisters and it was Phoebe who noticed how her anger had gotten worse.

"Prue this isn't you," Piper said and attempted to explain to Prue about the Furies.

"This is the new me, this is who I am now that she's gone."

"Estelle wouldn't want this," Phoebe said, "And _you_ know it."

"But I don't! I knew next to nothing about her. I was still learning so much, I didn't know about her sacrificial dust! She kept so much to herself, for all I know she was okay with me being this way. Besides it doesn't matter anyway, she's gone." Prue then stormed out of the attic. Her sisters tried to run after her but she used her powers on them. Leo told the sisters that if Prue killed someone before they could stop her she'd become a Fury. Prue spent time wondering around downtown muttering to herself about how angry she was with her sisters, how angry she was with herself for letting her daughter die. It wasn't long until she was found by her younger sisters.

"Prue, you can't become a demon," Phoebe said, "That's one thing Estelle wouldn't want. You know that for sure. I know you do. Please, come back to the Manor."

"You could have reset time, you should have. She could still be alive. She could still be here. This is all of our faults! We let her die."

"Prue, it was her choice, as awful as it was, she made it. We can't change that. If we had known what would have really happened when she chanted that spell, we would have stopped her. We didn't know."

"She made that choice because of what we are! Now, get out of my way!" She used her powers to throw her sisters against an alley wall knocking them out.

"Prue, you don't want to do this," Leo said.

"Leo, stay away from me," Prue snarled storming away. She found the three furies she had attacked earlier, or they found her it wasn't like she cared and left with them, with her new family. Several hours passed as the two remaining Charmed Ones thought of a way to return Prue to normal. Getting her to the Manor and making her pissed beyond belief was easy but ending that anger wasn't going to be as simple. Phoebe looked at one of the pictures that was framed on the coffee table. It had been turned down by Prue when she returned from the hospital. It was of Prue and Estelle. The pair had gone to an amusement park during the past summer. Prue had her arms around Estelle standing behind her in front of a coaster they went on.

"I know what to do," she said. Less than an hour later they were able to get Prue to the Manor and it was Phoebe who would be angering her older sister.

"Come on Prue, you're not that angry are you?" Phoebe said as Piper fought the other furies.

"I mean sure you're the cause of her death but pshh," she said backing up into the kitchen.

"Though, I guess if you had been a better mother she wouldn't have died," Prue's eyes blazed with anger as Phoebe backed toward the basement.

"So, I guess you're right Prue. You are the reason she's dead. You were an awful mother to her. She'd still be alive if it weren't for you." Phoebe ran down the stairs as Prue lunged at her. She reached for her sister's throat as Phoebe pulled on the cord to the lightbulb. Prue stumbled away looking around her and turned to run to the door to hear Leo close and hold it shut.

She finally looked around the basement with wide eyes. Piper, Phoebe, and Leo had found photos of Estelle as well as some of her old clothing and plastered it around the basement. One was the first photo Prue had taken of Estelle, at a diner, she was eating a sundae. Her face was a mixture of pleasure and surprise. There was one of Estelle putting on her toe shoes, one where Phoebe was teaching Estelle how to use make-up, one of Estelle and her Watcher friends, one of Estelle practicing magic with her friend Zoey, one with all of the sisters, and one that Prue had taken one night during a thunderstorm. She was distracting her daughter, in this photo Estelle was curled up looking outside listening to music off of Phoebe's MP3 player, her eyes were clamped shut but the fear was evident on her face. Prue looked at several others as well of a few of Estelle's outfits.

"Don't let her death define her life," Phoebe said, "Or yours." Prue let out a choked sob. Phoebe put her arms around her sister and heard Piper come downstairs.

"I wish I could have stopped her, could have saved her. But she had to go and make that stupid decision," Prue said. She didn't say though what else she thought knowing her sisters would only worry more about her. So it wasn't until later that evening that she looked up the recipe for a power binding potion.


	6. A Choice

**Chapter 6**

"Adelaide, I hope you don't mind me stealing Estelle away," Grams said as I was speaking with my birth mother one day- or time- or whatever. Time wasn't relative here.

"Not at all Penelope," she said. I walked off with Grams wondering why she had come over. I hadn't spent much time with the Halliwell part of my family recently. She sat me down and told me that the Elders were going to approach me with a proposition. She explained what had been going on with the living. In short my mom wasn't grieving. She was about to take a drastic measure that would end the Charmed Ones and many innocents' lives.

Three months had passed below since I had died. In that time I had become comfortable with my situation and was getting to know Adelaide, I spent time of course with my birth father, Elias. My mom wasn't moving on, she quit her job at 415 Magazine and started working at some museum. She had also spent time demon hunting on her own. The idea of her doing that without her sisters made my 'stomach' twist in knots. Grams wouldn't tell me about the proposition but she wanted me to know the background information.

Some time passed before I was approached my the Elders. When they finally did come there were three of them, I didn't recognize any. One wasn't actually an Elder but a whitelighter. They explained the situation and the whitelighter was there to help me in anyway possible. I didn't understand until they explained what they would do for me.

"We allowed Fae in the past a second chance at life," one of the Elders said.

"Your sister for instance," the other said and I nodded.

"You're offering me another chance at living? I don't understand. I gave up my life, besides there are law I must follow as a faery." I had laws just like they did, they were expecting me to break a really important, strict law. I had broken rules before but laws I wouldn't have dared broken. Yes I had a relationship with a mortal but it didn't go anywhere. I didn't marry him, not like my birth parents had. I followed the law and was to wed William.

"Your mother isn't getting any better, Estelle she's making a binding potion," the whitelighter said, "If she were to do so, the world would fall into an order of demons. The balance would shift. We don't return life without great caution. There is balance between life and death." I didn't ask them to explain about the balance of magic, of good and evil, because I already knew. This had been explained to me at a young age when I was learning how to control my powers.

"How would me going back help? And the balance, wouldn't that mean someone else would have to take my place and die?"

"She's grieving but she isn't moving forward. She blames her magic for your death. We think going back would convince her to not give up her magic." They avoided my second question.

"But my death was my choice. Besides, she wouldn't give up her magic, it's a gift. I don't see how she can't see that."

"For a long time Prue and Piper both saw magic as a curse, they've grown to see it otherwise but recent events have changed that," the whitelighter stated. They were asking me to return to a life of living. Many would jump at the chance I assumed, but I didn't. I had become comfortable, I was getting to know my birth parents and I spent time with my sister and Margaret as well as Grams and Grandmother.

"I don't want that, maybe if you had asked me earlier but not anymore. I'm sorry."

"Saying no could land all of your family members below with you," the Elder said calmly. I've never seen them speak in this manner to anyone, let alone me.

"It's not that I don't want them safe, I do, I just- I gave up my life to save all of those people. I made this sacrifice and you're saying it wasn't enough?"

"Your death took a toll on your mother, one we didn't expect," an Elder said, "The Halliwells in the past have moved on, Prue moved on with the death of her loved one but it's different with you."

"If I am to go back- that's a really big if- what's the sacrifice I have to make? Or does someone make that for me?" It was becoming difficult to keep my voice steady.

"No one's life will be taken in place of yours," the whitelighter said and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

"Your magic is another life entirely. If you leave your magic here you're mortal soul can return below. It was how it was done for the other Fire faeries eons ago."

"You can't have my magic, if anything it belongs to my people, to the Fae not to you!"

"The Elders will not receive your magic," the whitelighter said calmly, "They will return to your council Elders. This decision is not to be taken lightly, we understand that, we can give you time."

"Can I speak with her before I decide? Not through a summoning charm, but some other way? There has to be a way to help her grieve."

"There is one thing." I was going into her dream, I was going to see and speak with my mom. I didn't tell anyone of what was going on, not Adelaide or Grams or Gwen. I ended up arriving in a room, it was completely white but there was a mirror on one wall. My mother was standing in front of this mirror.

"Mom?" I asked stepping forward. She turned around and smiled through tears. She rushed forward to pull me into her arms. But she soon realized she couldn't touch me. I told her that I wasn't really here because I was dead. I wasn't some dream either. She asked why I was here then and I told her.

"Estelle, I don't want to live without you in my life. It would have been one thing you returning to Camelot but you died. You died four months ago. A part of me is gone, I can't go one fighting demons as if they weren't the cause of your death." But they hadn't been, not directly. I tried to explain to my mother that she had to move on with her life like I had done with death. She spent the time crying and screaming at me. She was angry with me and with magic. Magic had taken me away. She wanted to rid herself of it. I brought up her sisters and demons and the Source. She didn't want to listen. I realized that my choice had been made.

"I was trying to help, just- go back to sleep then." I felt myself return to my 'body'.

"I've made my choice," I said to the Elders and the whitelighter.


	7. Returning

**Chapter 7**

I was in the kitchen. I was alone. I was breathing, I was able to feel my heart beat in my chest. I was alive. I walked around the kitchen and looked at the fridge, there used to be a magnet of us at Disney World but it was no longer there. I accidentally bumped in the island and a cup that had been left out fell to the floor. The noise it made when it shattered was loud and I stepped away shocked by the sound. Several lights were turned on and I realized my eyes had been adjusted to the darkness of the kitchen.

"Who's there?" my mom asked. She had a flash light which she shined in my face. I shielded my eyes then she dropped it. It clattered to the floor, the sound making me jump.

"Estelle?" she asked.

"Mother," I said.

"Is it really you?" she asked coming up to me. She pressed her hand against my cheek.

"Y- yeah it's me," I said forgetting what she felt like. She let out a cry and hugged me. Piper and Phoebe found their way downstairs. Phoebe let out a gasp as she saw me then rushed to hug me. She ended up picking me off my feet. Piper then gave me a hug. They both looked at my mom who had a huge smiled across her face.

"How are you back?" she asked, "Not like it matters..."

"I was told that you were going to give up your magic," I said seriously, "If I hadn't of returned-"

"I wasn't sure I was going to bind my magic," my mom said.

"You would have if we hadn't of stopped you," Phoebe said her voice sour, "The triquetra has been broken for nearly a month Prue. At least now we have a chance to put it back together." My mom opened her mouth to say something but I stopped her.

"How long was I dead?" I asked.

"It's September," Piper said, "Four months tomorrow actually. Are you hungry or anything? I can whip something up." My death had torn this family apart. Would being back really change anything? Would my mom stay a witch? Would they vanquish the Source? Would coming back be worth it?

"You didn't have to give up eating did you?" Phoebe asked bringing my thoughts back to the situation at hand.

"What?" my mom asked. Then I listened to my mom argue with her sisters about them knowing I might come back. The Elders didn't tell the sisters what I'd have to give up but that it was my choice. I hadn't thought about what I was going to tell them. How could I tell them I was human when demons were always around? If I told them then my mom would give her magic up for sure. She couldn't see that it was a gift and not a curse. What was I going to tell them?

I felt lightened all of a sudden and clutched the edge of the counter. They warned me this would happen. Since I wasn't used to a living body, in a sense, I might become ill. Nothing serious, nothing fatal but enough so that I would likely be queasy and unsettled. Because my mom was so busy arguing with Phoebe, Piper was the one to notice and she helped sit me down at the table. She got me a glass of water and glared at her sisters.

"It's okay," I said to my aunt before she said anything, "Just a side affect." My mom heard the last part and spun to look at me.

"What do you mean side affect?" I explained to her what the Elders had told me before I returned to the 'realm of the living' as Margaret referred to it as. I told her the side affects: nausea, dizziness, fever, and exhaustion. Phoebe asked what I had given up. She asked if I was not to return to Camelot.

"Why would I return to Camelot?" I asked coming up with what I had sacrificed.

"Because that's your destiny," she said confused, "It's why you were sent here."

"I was sent here? Oh," I said, "I gave up memories- memories of- of... Camelot I suppose. I was given new memories- ah no, a new history but it's blank. The Elders told me..."

"You gave up going back for this?"

"The Source would have killed everyone if you gave up your magic. I'm really tired, I'm going to my room." I left her without letting her to take in what I had just said. That though she was part of the reason to why I came back she wasn't the soul reason. Yes I missed her but I came back for the greater good. I came back because if I hadn't my family and friends here would have ended up dead as would have thousands of others.

My room was exactly how I left it, the bags of my items had been tossed carelessly by me when it was decided I couldn't leave. Now I really couldn't. I didn't have any magic, I was completely mortal. I sat on my bed and pulled two sketches that was in my pocket. My birth father had given them to me. He had spent a long time drawing pictures of my birth mother. I was surprised that he had them, not thinking you could take possessions with you to your afterlife. The papers had yellowed and I was surprised he had them but many mortals wore different outfits and that didn't make sense either. Adelaide was smiling in one, her hair was down. In another she was pregnant- with me. The third picture was her holding me as an infant. The last sketch was simple, there were no colors except her eyes, it was of her face. He told me this one he looked at often so to not forget her face. I placed the pictures in my desk drawer feeling guilty for looking at them.

I didn't sleep, I stayed up the rest of the night having arrived at one in the morning. My mom often checked on me, I think she actually fell asleep outside the door. I put all of my magic books in a trunk in my closet as well as my dresses and skirts. I wanted to burn them, to tear them apart but couldn't. I found several necklaces too one from when I went to the 1920s and another from time of the Salem Witch Trials and the crystal necklace that I had stopped wearing. I recalled my time in Salem and thought of William. I put the necklace on, convinced that the 1920s necklace was from the same person. He was going by Theodore at the time. He had written me a note but I hadn't seen him at the cemetery. Perhaps he had gone to the cemetery when I was dead. None the less if he was near I'd know now.

That morning I slipped on jeans and a sweater along with black boots. I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail thinking of dyeing it a new color or getting it cut. My toe shoes were still in one of my bags and several of my leotards were in my dresser as well. I went downstairs to find the kitchen empty. Perhaps they were off fighting a demon. Phoebe joined me an hour later as I sat and ate an apple while reading a newspaper.

"Hey," Phoebe said yawning. She grabbed a cup of coffee and told me Piper had gone to work as had Prue.

"It's nice having you back, Prue's already in a better mood," Phoebe said.

"Did you and Piper move on?" I asked.

"Okay, no small talk then, yeah we moved on" she said, "We mourned but we continued on with our lives. We tried our best to help your mother grieve. She didn't want to accept that you had died, then she blamed magic." I was quiet for a while, I didn't watch my mom and after a while I had no interest to as awful as it sounded.

"I'm sorry for what you had to give up," Phoebe said after a while.

"Doesn't matter, I don't really know what I gave up anyway," I said shrugging.

"You gave up a lot," Phoebe said, "You came back to save not just Prue but everyone." She surely wanted to ask what my new memories were, that part was true, sort of. But I decided to wait until I was asked. I was angry at my mom, I was okay being dead. I was human now. I gave up my former life for this one.

Phoebe then asked if I hadn't wanted to come back. I shrugged not ready to tell them I hadn't wanted to come back. She said it was okay if I didn't want to. She said she knew I did what I had to because Prue was falling apart. They had managed to keep Prue from taking her magic for a month, could they have lasted longer? Could they have defeated the Source without me having to be here? She then proposed going out shopping for a new wardrobe. I just hoped demons didn't attack this time. I bought several more pairs of jeans and tops as well as two new leotards. We ended up eating lunch at a restaurant Piper used to work at.

After some time I suggested going home because I was tired. I took a nap and when I woke up my mom was on my bed. I sat up and smiled at her. She asked me what was wrong.

"Nothing," I said, "I'm just not used to this."

"What do you mean?"

"Sleeping, eating, didn't need it before."

"Oh," she said, "That makes sense. So, we were wondering what the story was. Why your suddenly not dead even though you have an obituary."

"Four months ago I went missing. Darryl has been informed, so he knows all the details. Anyway there was a search that yielded no results until two days ago. I was found and brought home, no hospital visits needed, no kidnapper, or murderer, but I do have to go in for an interview with a detective about what happened. I was told a story by the Elders to tell them." She didn't ask me for the story that I would tell to whomever I spoke to. She didn't ask about my new memories either, I suppose she wanted to give me time to tell them everything.

"How long are you supposed to be sick?" she asked, though I wasn't showing any symptoms. I shrugged not knowing for sure but I didn't feel sick. She then told me they would be going after the Source. The question was if they were ready. There was a whitelighter orbing into my room and I knew it wasn't Leo.

"Who are you?" my mom asked.

"Sebastian's here to help me," my mom looked at me, "I was dead, now I'm not. I had to mourn my life, I did, I moved on. Now I'm back. He's here for a transition period." My mom was taken back by how I spoke without care, that I was annoyed with her, possibly how I used the word transition considering I didn't know about the word when I had died. She looked at the Elder.

"You're going to help her?"

"Yes, I met her, a month ago your time," Sebastian said. My mom looked between us.

"I'm engaged mom, to William," I said hastily, "We're not- it's not..."

"Estelle is one of my charges, nothing more Ms Halliwell." I smiled at him. She told me dinner would be ready soon and left not really wanting to leave us alone. I assume she went to speak with Leo about my whitelighter. I told Sebastian about how I was angry with my mother, how I had lied about my sacrifice, how I didn't know how to be human. He wouldn't say anything to the sisters about any of this but had a note for me. Like the sketches it felt forbidden because the note was from my birth parents. He orbed away and I read the note.


End file.
